One of the ways the enemy is able to attack our faith is through our families. The truth of the matter is in the grand scheme of the priorities of life your ministry or career does not precede your marriage and family.
Here is the way this is supposed to work:
1. Your personal relationship with Jesus (not your ministry or career).
2. Your spouse (if you have one).
3. Your children.
4. Being a productive member of the Body (following your Pastor-leader and loving your neighbor with the love of Christ).
5. Everything else (your ministry, career, etc.)
Following these priorities—it takes work daily—will produce godly order in your life.
Your mindset in training your children is the key to success. Many parents are naïve. I speak from experience. I think I just assumed because we were raising our children in a Christian home and I was in full time ministry they somehow wouldn’t face the same temptations as the world.
But they will. Your children have flesh that has to be trained and disciplined. Even Jesus faced great temptation in the wilderness and had to deal with his flesh.
The best kids raised in a Christian environment have to deal with the strong pull of the world. There is no such thing as secular hormones and Christian hormones. There are just hormones.
The key to helping your children through the difficult maze of adolescence is parental monitoring and being continually involved in their lives. If you have been lax in this area and see the need to tighten some things up, here are some suggestions on how to do it:
1. As their parents, you have the right to know what is going on.
They are living under your roof. You are paying the bills. You brought them into the world and you can take them out. Just kidding on that last one, although you may be tempted sometimes. But I regress.
Because they are under your care, this gives you a say as to what goes on in their life. You have the right to monitor what is happening in their rooms, where they are going, etc.
I was amazed that the parents of the teenagers involved in the Columbine massacre had no idea what was happening behind the closed doors of their bedrooms. You have a right to know what they are watching on TV, what is going on with their computers, and what is happening on their cell phones.
2. When you make changes, always do it in love.
You dearly love your children. You want what is best for them. They don’t always know what is best because they are not mature.
If you are making some major tightening up adjustments it can be painful. The best way to do it is to sit down with your children and honestly tell them what is going on. Let them know things are changing and you are going to be more involved in their lives.
Above all let them know you are doing these things not to put them in bondage, but because you love them and have their best interests at heart. They probably won’t totally understand. They may not like it. In fact, they probably won’t.
They may ask you the classic question, “Don’t you trust me?” (It’s not them personally you don’t trust, but you don’t trust their immature flesh and the temptations the devil will present them). They may kick and scream and resist. In fact they probably will. When this happens…
3. Be strong to stay the course
2 Chronicles 15:7 “Be ye strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak: for your work shall be rewarded.”
It is not easy to be a parent. You have to be tough to stand up for what is right even in the middle of kicking and screaming. They don’t always understand. But God promises the WORK you put into it will bring rewards. A day will come that they will thank you for the investment you put into them. The Word of God is the truth they must have to navigate life successfully. Truth will always prevail.
Similar Posts:
- Dave Says: March 16
- Raising Positive Kids In a Negative World
- Never Discipline Whom You’ve Not Discipled
- Creating Five Star Families
- Three Things You Must Activate In Your Life
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Ken is one of America’s foremost authorities on training children in the faith. One day, he taught me saying, “Neil, there will come a time when you must relate to your children as brothers and sisters in Christ, not just as your children.” This one lesson helped me more tremendously relating to my three children, respecting their personal walk with God.