God answered by saying, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.”

God spoke to the generations within her, prophesying their future.  When it came time for their birth, the twins were in contention.  The first child to arrive was covered with red hair, so they named him Esau, which means Red.  Grasping the heel of Red was Jacob, which means to grasp the heel, or figuratively means to deceive.

Red was loved by his father.  He learned to be a skillful hunter, a man who liked to be out in the field.  He was loud, and rough-hewn.

Red wasn’t a thinker.  He didn’t have vision beyond his present appetite.  This exposed a weakness, his vulnerability to be deceived.

Rebekah loved Deceiver.  She schooled his quiet nature, kept him around the tents, dressed him in designer clothes, and taught him how to cook.  She also taught him the subtle techniques of deception.

Red came home from a failed day of hunting, when Deceiver welcomed him with a contract, “Will you trade a fresh bowl of stew for your birthright?”

Red’s stomach controlled his passion, so he made hasty decisions.  Haste leads to poverty (Proverbs 21:5).  Deceiver’s passion was his legacy; he would strive for significance, even if he achieved it through evil means.

This war between the natures of man continues to jostle back and forth.  You may have the two natures within you.  You may immediately identify with Red, or you may realize that you have a secret nature that relates to Deceiver.

This imbalance can stem from how we raise our children.  When a parent favors a child, they tend to put their imprint upon that child.  Isaac related to Esau, while Rebekah was devoted to Jacob.  Even though they were raised in the same household, they were parented separately, as if they were each living in a single-parent household.

We can see the devastating effects of single-parent households every day.  I can’t tell you how many horrific stories I’ve heard, where a fatherless boy is manipulated into deception by a predator because the boy needed a “daddy” in his life.  Boys crave the love of a father.

We need the balance of both natures. We need to be in the field, hunting, fishing, hiking, riding, exploring and adventuring, and we need to be thinking long term, so that our temporary appetites don’t forfeit our futures.

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This article is an excerpt from the book Fivestarman—The Five Passions of Authentic Manhood by Neil Kennedy.  To learn more about Fivestarman or to order your copy of Fivestarman—The Five Passions of Authentic Manhood please visit www.fivestarman.com.

You are free and welcome to re-publish, re-post, and in general share this article with any and all, so long as you keep all credits and links intact. For reprint rights, please contact us at info@fivestarman.com.

“Lucky for me, I ended up with a
boy whose favorite color is pink.
Toenail painting is way more fun in neon.”

Jenna Lyons’ byline for the recent J. Crew ad has stirred controversy—and rightly so—when a mother-son moment has mom painting the boy’s toenails pink. What could possibly be wrong with a laughing boy and an endearing moment with his mother?

The abandonment of authentic manhood is causing us to become increasingly a matriarchal society. Men are forfeiting their leadership roles in every place in society, but none is more evident than the role of fatherhood.

Women have always played a pivotal role in the household. In fact, the Bible says, “a wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands a foolish one tears it down (Proverbs 14:1). However, the traditional “head” of the household has always been the husband/father.

With men leaving the family household far too often these days, it causes the woman to become the parental dominant, reshaping the upbringing of the children, especially the boys.

Author Paul Adams, in the book Fatherless Children proclaims, “Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely than those in father-present homes to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity.”

Dr. Keith Ablow called this gender confusion “psychological sterilization.”

This sterilization will have greater repercussions than simply raising girly-men. It opens the door for extreme, male-dominated societies such as Muslims to overtake us. Our impotence will no longer be a laughing matter or a childhood game.

Pink toenails on boys today. Wow. What’s next?

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I can’t imagine watching a video of my 18-year-old daughter on TV, high as a kite, sucking on a bong, speaking gibberish, posing for semi-nude photos and laying all over a bunch of tweenage horndogs attempting to imitate an episode of Skins while knowing that there’s pretty much nothing I can do about her bad behavior but talk to Jesus and weep.

That sad and avoidable scenario I just painted has been Billy Ray Cyrus’ reality of late as he watches his famous daughter Miley follow Anna Nicole Smith’s path of doom (Billy Ray’s words, not mine).

In next month’s issue of GQ magazine, Cyrus the Senior states that he screwed up with Miley the Younger by allowing the dipsticks at Disney to hijack her soul and turn her into a narcissistic cash calf who takes her cues from immoral and greedy SOBs instead of Christ and common sense.

Not only did Billy lament the putrid path Miley’s “wholesome” Disney “handlers” took her down, but he was particularly POed at how they separated her from him and helped destroy his marriage just to make royalties off his little girl.

“But at least Billy Ray is rich,” some of you are undoubtedly thinking. Yeah, money’s a cure for all ills, eh dork? Well, BRC doesn’t think so and went on to say that if he had it to do all over again that he would not have let Miley get into the industry and would rather have had a sane, sober and safe offspring at home rather than millions of dollars, a Disney show and a daughter who imitates Snookie.

Now, I’m not here to beat up on Billy Ray, but Billy … what were you thinkin’, brother? You let hellish Hollywood run your life and your kid’s life. What did you think was going to happen? Those diphthongs in Tinsel Town don’t give two flips whether or not you and your kid live or die as long as their checks clear. Therefore, as you well know by now, they’ll push your kid and others to take kiddie porn pics, grind a pole at a Teen Choice award, shack up with a Justin Timberlake wannabe for PR and smoke salvia (yeah, right) if it’ll bank them some Benjamins.

I hope all fathers far and wide learn the serious moral in the Cyrus GQ story. Here’s what I gleaned from Billy Ray’s requiem:

1. Fame is BS. You can have it one year and be a drunken alley cat the next. So when it comes to your kids, focus on longevity, character, excellence, righteousness and true grit. True success is the business of greatness. And fame? Well, to be famous nowadays all a decent-looking girl has to do is get a boob job and sport the willingness to flash her va-jay-jay when she gets out of her car on Rodeo Drive. If she does that then BOOM! She’s a star!
2. If you, parent, put your little kid into the entertainment industry then you need to have your head examined-especially the inbreds who’re pushing their tots into kiddie beauty pageants. Lord, have mercy.
3. Trust no one who says they’re “here to help you and your kid’s career.” Being the dad of one famous daughter and one who’s well on her way, I can tell you that stringent oversight from me and those who loved my kids before they became sliced bread is the shrewd way to proceed with scum-sucking parasites seeking to feed off their success. Yes, feel free to fire, defriend and tell off any fool who gets in your way with what you know to be holy, just and true.
4. If anyone tries to put a wedge between you and your child, kick his or her a**.
5. Go online and show your kids what STDs look like when they’ve taken root in a promiscuous body. That’s an eye opener. FYI regarding STDs, kiddies: They’re not the walk in the park that the herpes commercials make them out to be, and there is, according to the Centers for Disease Control, a 25% chance that you’ll get one before you turn 20 and keep it until you take the big dirt nap. It’s so much fun!
6. Have your kids Google the economic stats of single moms.
7. Also, have your kids study the life lessons of those cute little stars who were destroyed through their inability to navigate through the minefield of pop culture crassness. That’s a sober and brutal cup of Joe.

I guarantee if Billy Ray wasn’t a man of prayer before, he sure as heck is one now because his hands are tied legally, and there ain’t a whole lot he can do to personally intervene. A heavenly intervention is probably the only way Hannah Montana will wake the hell up and follow heaven’s path versus that of her Beavis and Butthead buddies.

Parents, especially you fathers of girls, if you want to avoid the achy breaky heart Billy Ray is now experiencing then purchase my latest book, available now as a pre-sale titled, Raising Righteous & Rowdy Girls.

Pat Caddell, Fox News Contributor, says of my book, “Through every raucous and no-holds-barred page, Doug, the incomparable Dad Drill Sergeant, puts mere men through the paces to join the ranks of the few, the proud, and the successful fathers of super daughters. The proof of Doug Giles’ gold-plated credentials are Hannah and Regis Giles-two of the most fantastic, great hearted and accomplished young ladies I have ever known. This is THE BOOK that I will be giving the father of my two precious five- and three-year-old granddaughters. Tiger Mom, meet Lion Dad!”

About The Author

Doug Giles is the creator and host of ClashRadio.com (IRN/USA Radio Network), a winner of seven Silver Microphone Awards and two Communicator Awards.

In addition, Doug is a popular columnist, minister, artist, campus lecturer and author. His column is read worldwide each week on the nation’s largest conservative news portal,TownHall.com.

One question that gnaws at the gut of all fathers is this, “How can I leave a legacy for my kids?”

The written word is powerful. Certainly, it’s important to speak words of blessing and encouragement to our sons and daughters, but writing has the potential to last much longer since words can be saved and read over and over again. The written word has power to shape and encourage our children and build a lasting family legacy. Short notes, journal entries, letters and even e-mails can be great tools to keep in touch and affirm our children.

Write a Journal

One great way of doing this is by keeping a written journal for each child. Just get a book of blank pages and write about what’s happening in your family’s life; or the joys of being a father; your hopes and dreams for your child as he or she grows; or the important values and beliefs you want to pass on. And, don’t skimp. Spend a few bucks to get a nice bound or even leather volume.

Start when your wife is pregnant, or if your kids are older, it’s never too late. You can write every day, or once a week. More realistically, record your thoughts on birthdays or holidays, and at special events like graduations, significant “firsts” in their lives, or a time when they’re embarking on a new venture or taking a step of faith. Or, it could simply be a time when something specific is on your heart. Including the date will give it even more long-term impact like a family record.

I’ve been doing this for more than twenty years now, and my children at least most of them have a sense of wonder to think they’re reading my thoughts back when they were born, or when they were just starting school. Maybe you can present those pages to your child at a significant rite of passage in his life, or when he leaves home.

This simple practice will help build a legacy of blessing that your child can look back on years from now. Not to mention grandchildren, great-grandchildren and descendents that you may never see. I think you’ll find it will also help you gain perspective on your own feelings and challenges as a father. Just sit down and write what’s on your heart. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Be simple and clear.

Write Letters

Not long ago, I invited a college student to join us for Sunday dinner. Often, in conversations, I’ll ask lots of questions about a person’s family history, and try to look under and in between the lines to discern what kind of relationship a person has with his or her father.

As we talked to Amy, she was hesitant to talk about her father. It was clear there had been some challenges during the teenage years. One thing Amy did say about her father was this: “When I left for college, my father wrote me a long letter. And in that letter, he shared some of his mistakes and failures as a father mistakes I knew he’d committed, but had never heard him verbalize like that. And as I’ve read that letter time and time again, it has made me think about how my father really does want to strengthen and create a relationship with me that will be long-lasting, and I find great comfort when I read the words that he wrote to me.”

Then I asked her, “Amy, where do you keep that letter your father wrote?” And she said, “In my Bible.” Now, dads, our words are certainly not on par with Scripture, but to our children, they are very, very powerful. They will be kept and cherished and re-read almost like the words of a prophet. Don’t miss this opportunity!

Also, don’t worry if you have lousy handwriting; it’s your heart that’s the key. In fact, I’ve often heard people say that reading their father’s cryptic handwriting gave the letters and notes an extra warmth and mark of uniqueness. Seeing their dad’s handwriting was like seeing a piece of him on the page.

So, I applaud any efforts you make to write notes and letters to your child. Who knows, your words may be tucked away in their Bible, but most importantly, in their heart.

More Ideas

Don’t underestimate the impact of letters when you’re separated from your child. E-mail has its advantage, and we should use it to bless our children often. But?even though it takes time and effort don’t neglect letters.

Letter writing is valuable if you have kids in college or the military or for adult children and grandchildren. But you can also do it when your younger children are at summer camp, staying for a week with Grandma and Grandpa, or when you’re away for some reason. Be funny, creative, challenging, and affirming. Send a reminder that you’re thinking about them, and encourage them in specific ways. A letter like that packs a big punch!

For non-custodial dads, you probably already know the importance of this. If you don’t have regular contact with your child due to a family break-up, letters can be the lifeblood of your relationship. But whatever the reason for being separated, a letter is a great way to breathe fresh air into the relationship.

You might also try a chain letter. As the leader of the clan, you can start it. Write a short note about what’s going on in your life, and maybe add a special note for each child and grandchild. Send it to the next family member and ask her to add a few lines at the bottom. Provide postage, so she can keep it circulating. In a few weeks, you’ll have a written record that may go down in your family’s history. You can do this on the Internet also, but again handwritten words are more likely to be cherished and saved.

Those are a few ideas. Maybe you have better ones that work for your family. But I urge you to write often to your children. Think of it this way: something you write today could give your child the encouragement and guidance he needs, whether it’s today or ten years from today. Or, who knows, it could impact your descendents a century from now.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching. -Hebrews 10:25

I realize that I am probably going to take one for the team here but I believe having my family in God’s house consistently, to hear God’s word, to worship God, to fellowship, and be discipled is THE GREATEST INVESTMENT I MAKE IN MY FAMILY. Greater than family vacations, laying on the couch, or going on a Sunday picnic. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in these things, I practice these things, but in America I believe we have settled for some acceptable bad habits and ask that we rethink the value of church in our lives.

Three of a million reasons it’s important to make weekly worship a HABIT:

It’s supernatural.

When you consecrate (set apart for divine purpose) the first day of the week, it supernaturally empowers the other six days of your week. Some of us wonder why we can’t get anything accomplished during a week. Have you consecrated the first day?

I believe when we worship in God’s House it empowers our lives for greater purpose. God always ask for our “First”. Why? Because the first redeems the rest. When you worship on the first day of the week (Monday is not the first day of the week, check your calendar) it sets your week up for success.

It’s good for your family.

Here is a news alert! Statistics tell us that if you consistently miss your worship appointment in God’s House, your children won’t darken the doorway of a church as adults. Why? Because they don’t see any value in it! When you consistently miss church you are sending a signal to your family that God is not a top value for us! Send the signal to your family that God is at the top of the list and worshipping Him in His house is important to your family!

It’s pleases God and fulfills your life.

Please hear me, missing church is not the biggest thing in the world. What I am proposing is that consistently missing church is more than scheduling conflicts. Maybe it’s a reflection of your heart and some confusion about what things in your life are most valuable. God’s people should want to be in God’s House with God’s people!

Make it a habit to be in God’s house on a consistent basis. It will prove to be an investment that pays out for eternity!

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About the Author
Tim Simmons is lead pastor at Celebration Church in Fairhope, Alabama. Read Tim’s blog at www.timsimmonsblog.com.

Click here to view on YouTube.

What is the enchantment of the blockbuster hit “New Moon” and the upcoming “Eclipse” movies?   It is a mixture of the age old story line of young romance intertwined with a combination of the mystical seduction of vampires.

For some reason, this movie has not only attracted teenage girls but also has seduced their moms.  One of the young stars of the show revealed the bizarre incident when a mother who stood in line with her teenage daughter to meet him asked if she could take off her panties for him to autograph.

What you should know as a father:

Vampires are mythological beings who feed off of the blood of the living.

This is a direct assault on the teachings of God.  The Bible says, “Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. ” ‘Do not practice divination or sorcery.” God established this on the principle that “life is in the blood.”  It is a practice of sorcery (evokers of the dead).

Vampires are representatives of fallen spirits who look upon women with lust.

The Apostle Paul instructed that women should have a covering of authority for the sake of the angels (1 Corinthians 11:10).  He was referring to the evil practice of angels who lust for women.  As a father, you are the authority over your daughter in the spirit realm.

Vampires are androgynous in appearance, gaunt and pale.

Their thin appearance is very different from their original descriptions as plump, bloated, monsters who gorged on the flesh and blood of the living.   The new image makes them more attractive and seductive to some women.

Vampires were originally synonymous with Satan.

The attraction to the Evil Being has always been on the base ideas of sexual relations.  There was a time that Genesis describes as when the ”sons of God had relations with the daughters of men.“ This is often considered as a time with the fallen angels intermingled with women.

For those who think that this story line is cute, consider this: A modern day vampire would be Jeffrey Dahmer, a serial killer who killed 17 people. His murders were particularly gruesome, involving rape, torture, dismemberment,necrophilia and cannibalism. The details of his story are gruesome and not worth exploring. If you think that its no big deal – think about your daughter being seduced by this vile man.

The bottom line is that creating a fantasy of the mythological vampire in the minds of young women (or for that matter adult women) is dangerous and offensive to what is right and moral.

Pastor Dave Divine of The Church at Chapel Hill in Douglasville, Georgia, had an inspiring and thought-provoking message for men on Father’s Day, challenging men to step up and live the passionate life of a FivestarMan.

When a Father speaks, his children are profoundly impacted by his words. We need to be extremely careful what and how we speak to our children.

Our words can have a powerful impact on a child in the positive, they can have tremendous negative impact as well.

I travel each week speaking in churches, teaching seminars, and conducting FivestarMan Encounters. I can’t estimate how many times I have prayed for grown men and women who are still controlled by the loose words that a person of authority spoke over them when they were a child.

Not long ago, while ministering in a church, I felt the Holy Spirit prompt me to pray for a couple. I asked them to come forward and asked permission to pray for them. They agreed.

As I laid my hands upon their foreheads while praying, my mind began to see scenes of the woman’s childhood. She was thirteen years old, she was joyfully dancing around in her bedroom, laughing and playing, when her father came by the room and began to speak harsh and angry words over her. He bruised her spirit. It was that moment — that very instance — that caused her to withdraw into a cocoon spiritually and emotionally. She began to accept that a father was mean, controlling, harsh, and angry.

When I described the scene that played out in my mind, the woman uncontrollably burst into tears. Sobbing and wrenching before me, she allowed the pent-up emotion of decades to come forth.

I then turned to her husband, and spoke a word over him. “Without knowing that this occurred in her young life, you have also used harsh words and outbursts of rage to control your wife.” He confessed to me that he didn’t know why he had done this and that it was out of his normal character to do so, but he admitted that he did speak to his wife this way to get what he wanted.

That couple was delivered from that horrific pattern in their marriage that day. The husband pledged to never again use harsh, angry words to control his wife. She released her father in forgiveness, and she committed not to allow that moment from so many years ago to control her life from that day on.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.” -Ephesians 4:29

Steps to Communicating Effectively:

Don’t Use Inappropriate Language – Unwholesome talk means words that are demeaning, harsh, hurtful, or sarcastic. Words have the ability to root within a person – to putrefy within a person’s soul.

Speak Kind and Comforting Words – Carefully select your words. Words should be personally helpful for the listener.

Speak Words That Build Up – Words have the ability to be constructive or destructive to a person.

So, if you have spoken unwholesome words, repent for speaking them, revoke the effect of them, and replace them with positive affirmations that replace their ill effect.

This video and others are available for sale at www.floodgateproductions.com.