I have noticed that some men either are overly confident, even arrogant or they are insecure, not thinking enough of themselves at all. In both cases, the extremes cause the error.

Paul gives some good advice, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.”

Notice the emphasis on the self-assessment is based on sober judgment. To think soberly means to have sound judgment, to be in agreement, to be harmonious, or have the same mind. What are you to be in agreement with? Paul says, “in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.” In other words, to have a sober mind assessment of one’s self is to be in harmony or in agreement with God’s Word for you.

The guy who is overbearing and cocky is often internally tormented that he doesn’t measure up to those around him. His boasting and peacocking is a mask of his low self-esteem.

On the other hand, the guy who is constantly emphasizing what he is not good at, or is self-abasing, is also displaying an inappropriate response to error. He is not properly emphasizing what God has given him.

As a man thinks in his heart so is he.

• It is important to have a balance to your self-assessment.
• Don’t over emphasize your weaknesses.
• Don’t over exaggerate your strengths.
• Know what you are good at. Know your strengths. Be willing to say to yourself, “I know that I can make this shot” or “I know that I can close this deal.”
• When someone gives you a compliment don’t apologize, simply say, “Thank you.”
• When you are faced with a challenge draw upon the measure of faith that God has given you.

When your child has fallen short on a task, do you emphasis that failure every day for the rest of his or her life? Of course not, you build them up, focusing on their strengths. It would be unhealthy to constantly remind them of their shortcomings. The same is true for you, if you fall short or make a mistake, don’t rehearse the failure over and over – get over it and move on – change your thinking.

What patterns of poor thinking do you need to change or overcome?

A young man, simply on assignment to deliver his brothers their lunch overhears the warrior’s scoff. He inquires from those standing around, “What will be done for the man?”

I think that it is one of the greatest questions that could have been asked. It set a young man apart from the crowd. It distinguished his motivation. It showed tremendous courage and revealed maturity beyond his years.

His brother assigned his question to arrogance. Others laughed with disbelief. But David persisted, “I have slain a lion, a bear, and this man will be nothing but another step in God’s faithfulness to me.”

While the thoughts of others focused on their potential loss, David’s thoughts were on what would he gain when he asked, “What will be done for the man?”

The size of your enemy determines the size of your reward.

Three Rewards for Facing Giant Challenges:

Great Wealth

• Your gains in life are in direct proportion to the problems that you solve.
• You must be a problem solver.
• Look for problems that others are avoiding.
• Necessity is the mother of invention.
• Look for ways to be paid residually from the problems that you solve.
• You will never be rich remaining comfortable.
• To get something that you’ve never had you must do something that you’ve never done.

Special Status

• Influence is a key to enlarging your rewards in life.
• Influence is a currency that is better than money.
• Influence is not fame. Fame is fleeting. Influence is legendary.
• Influence opens doors that are shut to others.

Royal Lineage

• A decision today can affect your descendants forever.
• Stepping up to the challenge can redirect your future.
• The prophecies and promises of your childhood will be revealed on the field of contest.

David stepped onto the field of contest that day to face his giant. It was that day that the anointing on his life was revealed. It was that day a boy became a man, even THE man. Goliath was a scourge on society that needed to be removed. Taking him out catapulted David into his destiny.

Your rewards are determined by the size of your challenges.

When God created Man, he placed within him a deep reservoir of purpose. Flowing within that reservoir is a commodity worth more than gold. It truly is the currency of your life. If you can gain understanding of it, you will never again be concerned about the subsistence level of living – clothes, cars, and cottages. You will be able to focus on what really matters – which is the purpose of your existence as an authentic man.

This is what Jesus referred to when he said, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33) Most men are in a constant struggle with simply meeting the needs and a few desires of their families. It’s an honorable step. It is also a basic requirement before going further into the purposes that you were created to do. However, don’t stop short. Once you’ve understood this level of achievement, it is time to move on to deeper currents.

The deep waters that Solomon suggests we have as men is an internal counsel which helps us formulate plans. You’ve recognized this counsel before when needing to make a decision and something deep within you whispers wisdom. Don’t let this take you by surprise. Embrace this inner counsel. You are being instructed by something more than your education or experience can provide.

In the book of Genesis, we are told of a river named Pishon that flowed out of the original garden. The name Pishon means increase. Within this river were precious materials like gold and onyx. But these precious items did not just flow into the hands of men, rather men had to dig deep into the river bed to harvest the increase contained within.

Tools for Digging Deep

Look Within

Stop looking outside of yourself to find your purpose. Study 1 Corinthians 2 for an understanding of the secret wisdom that God has for you.

Rid Yourself of Envy

No need to be jealous of what others have. God is a God of abundant resources and He has created you for good works. Ephesians 2:10 says that you are the workmanship of God. This should eliminate any competitive envy or insecurities that you may deal with.

Develop Your Skills

Understand that your potential is buried deep and is only useful if you draw upon it. Potential is unproven skill. Potential doesn’t pay the bills; skill does. Ecclesiastes 10:10 says, “A dull ax means harder work. Being wise (sharpening your skills) will make it easier.”

Use This Reservoir For Personal Advancement

You may currently exchange your labor for an hourly wage or a salary, but until you personally understand how to tap into your real purpose you will never know the incalculable wealth God has placed within you. Draw upon these deep purposes to advance in all areas of your life.

An entrepreneur told me how he had lost a very lucrative patent due to failed legal diligence on his part. Rather than whine and complain about how he was wronged, he isolated himself on the shore of Mobile Bay and prayed, asking God for a new idea. He spent a considerable amount of time digging deep into his purpose. The idea came like a gusher – exploding out of his spirit. That single idea allowed him to employ hundreds of people with their own businesses and allowed him to deposit seven figures a month into his bank account.

George Washington Carver lifted a hand-full of peanuts into the air and said, “God, Creator of the heavens and earth, reveal unto me the secrets that you’ve housed in the peanut.” Carver went on to discover over 300 economically viable uses of the lowly peanut.

What do you have flowing deep within you? What is your personal currency?

I live on the Gulf Coast; I witness the personal impact that this is having on local families. A real estate agent told me that houses on Mobile Bay are being appraised 15 percent less than they were 90 days ago. Those who make a living harvesting the bountiful seafood from the Gulf are scratching their heads, trying to figure out what they are going to do to make a living. This is all they’ve ever known.

All the while, we want to scream, “This is not right! This is not how it is supposed to be.”

Rather than get angry and lose my temper over something completely out of my control, I’ve gone to the beach, and overlooking the ocean, prayed for God’s intervention on this matter.

You may have another disaster spewing up into your life. You may have a relationship problem, a health issue, a financial crisis that you are dealing with. Things completely out of your control may be frustrating you. What can you do? How do your respond?

The Apostle Paul explains in the Roman letter that the Earth is groaning in birth pains, eagerly awaiting its redemption that will come when the Sons of God are revealed. In the same manner, we, who are Believers, also groan in expectation for what is coming, the hope of the redemptive plan to be fully realized. Obviously, that hope is not yet manifested.

This frustration that yearns from our spirit is desperately screaming, “This is not right! This is not how it is supposed to be.”

Paul goes onto say, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness, when we don’t know what we are to pray, He searches our hearts, and prays according to the will of God for us.”

If you are facing a frustration of not knowing what to do or how to pray this is an amazing truth. The Spirit of God actually prays through you, knowing exactly what you should be praying according to the will of God. When we allow this process of prayer to occur, “all things work together for our good.”

So, don’t just sit there and scream at the TV or let loose your anger on the bills in front of you. Do something about it. Allow the Holy Spirit to pray through you according to God’s love and purpose for your life.

To be an authentic man means that you must decide to step out of mediocrity and into a more dignified and determined level of living. If it were easy, most men would do it. Obviously it’s not easy. In fact, you will find that you are opposed at every turn. As a FivestarMan, you are going against the flow of modern culture. You are resisting the impulse of compromise. You must put your shoulders back, bow up, and be willing to face the challenge head on.

We use Centurions as an example of a FivestarMan. Centurions were strong men. They were conditioned, prepared, educated, and equipped. Their face was chiseled by the seasons. The muscles were toned and strong. Their conditioning was for one reason: When they faced an opponent they had the advantage.

The defining moment of a FivestarMan is not during the calibration of conditioning but in the moment when everything that you believe in must be stood up for.

The value of any commodity is determined by the process of its making and the rarity of its existence. If you are willing to face the pressure of the process, recalibrating your life toward the five passions of a FivestarMan will expose the rarity of authentic manhood.

“I learned that if you push through the resistance and keep driving for what you want, you will ultimately achieve rewards beyond any you had hoped for.” – T. Boone Pickens

In a recent conversation with an FSM Entrepreneur, he said, “Neil, I have to be honest, the more I pursue being the man that God wants me to be, even the man that I want to be, the more I realize how far off manhood has become in our culture, even in the Church.” Then with emotion in his voice, and determination in his eyes, he said, “I am convinced that God has more for us than we can imagine, if we are willing to be faithful through the resistance.”

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

At FivestarMan, we are preparing a unique process — a recalibration— to help men push through to authentic manhood. The launch date will be announced in the coming weeks. When we do, there will be nothing like it. It will equip men with the individual resources they need to resurrect authenticity in their lives. We are committed to building a movement to resurrect authentic manhood.

The last forty years has wreaked havoc on authentic manhood. The feminization of men is displayed in a constant barrage of media imagery. Almost every male represented on television is a metro-sexual pretty boy or a sloven buffoon. Every reality show has to have its token effeminate male. It’s embarrassing.

Thankfully, there is a grassroots movement in our culture to resurrect authentic manhood. It’s called FivestarMan.

When I speak to men about FivestarMan and the five passions of authentic manhood, something unique begins to happen: their body language transforms before my eyes. Men who were slouching in their chairs suddenly perk up and lean into what I am saying. I can see my words resonating within them. It’s not because I am teaching them something new, but I am exposing and reawakening who they are as men.

This has caused me to realize this simple truth:

Authentic manhood is not learned but discerned.

The first portion of the verse in 1 Corinthians 16:13 reads, “Be alert and on your guard; stand firm in your faith – your conviction respecting man’s relationship to God and divine things.”

The five passions — adventurous spirit, entrepreneurial drive, faithful character, gallant, and philanthropic — are deep within every man. When these passions are spoken of and studied, men become alert, active, and engaged into a stance of readiness. This is brought about by discernment — the understanding in one’s spirit that these passions are real, concrete, and life-changing.

So how are we as men to be courageous, grow in strength, stand firm in faith, and model authentic manhood?

Be Alert.

If you get caught off guard, shake it off. I remember being blindsided on a football field. My mind became foggy. My eyes blurred. I walked in a daze for a few minutes. It taught me to be alert. It conditioned me to be aware of my surroundings. I have translated that into my daily rhythm of life. When I walk into a room I survey the environment. I check out the crowd. I look for the exit strategy. In life, you must be alert.

Be On Guard.

You must be able to protect yourself and your family. If you need to, take some lessons. Condition yourself. You will avoid ninety percent of trouble if you look strong enough. Be on your guard in other areas of your life as well. Build a fortress around your life. Solomon said, “Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter.” Make sure that you have defenses.

Stand Firm.

Stand up straight. Don’t slouch. Put your shoulders back. Don’t let your posture slump. Plant your feet and look ahead. Take this position physically and spiritually. This is not a time to be weak-kneed. Don’t try to draw your faith from your wife or children. Draw upon your relationship with God, then in turn strengthen your family.

Model Manliness.

Act like a man. Carry yourself with the dignity of being a man. This doesn’t mean you are arrogant or oppressive. In fact, it’s the opposite. It means you act with class and a quiet, but firm boldness.

Be Courageous.

Have the courage to live by your convictions. Don’t compromise. If your company is cheating customers, ask God to give you another job or start your own company, but don’t compromise who you are for monetary gain. Simply put, don’t whore yourself out for money.

Grow in Strength.

I am using P90X for my physical conditioning — it’s a tough workout. When I started I could barely get through half of the session before having to quit. After a few days my strength increased. Now I can do more and more of the workout. It’s the same lesson in other areas of your life. You become stronger on things that you condition.

How many times have you had an idea that you do nothing with, only to see it prominently displayed on the shelf at Wal-Mart?

Someone else is making money on the ingenious idea that once belonged to you. The difference is that you had a theory, while they put it to work.

Solomon noted, “He who works his land will have abundant food, but the one who chases fantasies will have his fill of poverty.”

A fantasy is expecting a future that you haven’t sown a seed for. An idea is a seed, but a seed is worthless until it is released to work.

Steps for Strategic Thinking:

1. Clearly write or draw the idea.

Put it down on paper. Process it through the filter of the vision. You must have a rendering, a picture that you can see.

2. Punch holes in it.

What is wrong with it? Address the issues of the idea. Is it workable? Are others already doing it? Why is your idea better?

3. Define the real value of what you are offering.

Does it solve a real problem? Does it serve others? Do people really need this? Will people exchange their money for your idea?

4. Create it.

Bring your idea to fruition, but don’t over invest in the development of the prototype. Some people have spent their life savings on an idea that wasn’t worth the pursuit.

5. Test it.

Ask people if your idea is worth pursuing. Determine if they are willing to pay for it. If they are not, it is not.

6. Capitalize it.

Do you need others to invest in it? If so, what is their return on investment (ROI)?

7. Market it.

How are people going to hear about what you have? Is it important enough to get the attention of people? Is it a niche item or idea?

8. Manage it.

Does the idea require your personal oversight? Can you release the idea to others, yet still make your money?

My wife, Kay, created a pillow called, Pillow of Promise. Her idea was birthed out of a burden to minister comfort and healing to people. She crafted a prototype with the embroidered word HEALTH on the front and a pocket on the back witch contained a booklet with scriptures of healing in it. She sold thousands of pillows. It was an interesting process as we manufactured them in Pakistan. After selling out of the Pillows of Promise, we put it on hold due to the political climate and trouble in Pakistan. We still receive testimonies on how a simple idea ministered to people.

An idea is worth a dollar, but a strategy is worth a million.

We trained hard. In the miserably cold winter, we would turn the gas heater up and rig it so it would not turn off. We wore multiple layers of sweats to train in. We punished our bodies beyond what modern wisdom would recommend. Until one day, one of our teammates became sick. Pneumonia set in and he died.

Our beloved coach resigned. He left coaching. He left the school. He faded away into obscurity, hiding behind the shame of blame. The team never recovered.

Everything changed that year. We couldn’t get our fight back.

The Bible gives us an example of a man who tried to run from the fight. Jacob grew up in a hostile fraternity. He wrestled with his brother, Esau. In the womb, nations wrestled. When the twins were delivered, Jacob grasped the heel of Esau. As a young man, Jacob couldn’t get the attention of his father. So, he began to manipulate his circumstances. With the help of his mother, he outwitted his brother for the right of first-born inheritance. He wrestled everyday to get somewhere and to be someone.

“And Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak.” Genesis 32:24

Jacob’s story is the account of man and you are in the same situation. You are alone and wrestling with God. God deals with man… alone. It is in the moments of isolation where you will find your fight. God won’t deal with you in the group sitting. He doesn’t address the fraternity, the team, the union, or societies; God wrestles one on one.

This is when you begin to dig deep into the issues of authenticity.

This is when you shake off your vanities and ideologies, and get down into the grasp of someone stronger and more powerful than you ever dreamed of getting a hold of.

When I was a young man, I found myself in a unique station in life. I had a beautiful wife, three young children, cars, clothes, and a cottage. I had reached a level of success that surprised me. And I was so, so… depressed.

There was no reason for it. It haunted me at night. The spirit of depression surrounded me. It was more than having a bad day — it was a cloud of darkness.

One night as I tossed and turned, I finally went outside, laid in a hammock, and looking up into the sky I prayed, “God can you please do something to help me?”

I wanted — craved — the soothing caress of a loving Father, but I got a surprise. God spoke to me saying, “Neil, get up. Get your fight back!”

Proverbs says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” God wrestled with me. Pushed me. Challenged me. He fought with me that night. Every move I tried on Him, he countered with a more strategic blow.

It was simply awesome. I found myself intimate with God by wrestling with Him. I discovered His blessing that night. We are close. We wrestled.

Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

God comes to a man alone.
He comes to pick a fight.
God comes to push you until you respond.
He will challenge your manhood.

He will grab you, toss you around — playing, teasing, until you finally respond.

Until you finally grab Him and say, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

I challenge you right now. Grab hold of God. Grab hold of His promises. Grab hold of the life you crave. Grab hold and don’t let go.

Most people are so focused on what they are not, that they never realize the value of what they are.  Men often compare their abilities to the super-elites and then develop an insecurity that erodes their capabilities.

For years, I wanted to play a good game of golf.  I love the game.  I love the ambiance of a manicured course.  I enjoy the etiquette of the rules.  I like that golf is a gentlemen’s game.  However, I faced a personal challenge in my game.  The challenge was that I always wanted to play at a skill level that I had not reached.  Obviously, it made for a frustrating experience.  But once I settled into my skill level, I realized there are parts of my game that I do very well.  If I could develop those skill sets, my game would improve greatly.  When I began to hone my strengths and work around my weaknesses, I improved my overall game by ten strokes.

I see men who want to succeed in arenas for which they do not have a developed skill set.  They frustrate themselves and those who have to endure the consequences of their mediocrity.

My wife, Kay, made a great observation concerning people’s natural gifting.  She said, “I’ve noticed that gifted people often don’t recognize their gift because they assume that anyone can do what they can without effort.”

What a great observation.

Whether you know it or not, right now you are doing something right.  It is important to recognize and acknowledge what you have the natural ability to do.

Discover your gift.

What do you do naturally that others struggle to do?  What is easy for you? What brings you joy? What do others come to you for seeking advice?

Develop your gift.

Even the gifted need to be developed.  Who mastered what you can do?  How can you learn from them?  Did they write a book?  Did they make a recording?  Do they teach others?

Distribute your gift.

How can you make your gift a medium of exchange?  In other words, can your gift turn a profit?

Dedicate your gift.

When you realize that you have a gift, you often are humbled by it.  You know that only the Creator could have given you this for a purpose.  To remain balanced and keep things in perspective, ask God for wisdom concerning your use of the gift.  Don’t take it for granted.

Leo Mulvihill looks the classic man’s man.

The hat is one clue. Displaying an old-school flair for style, the 25-year-old law student at Drexel University walks around campus sporting a vintage Brooks Brothers three-piecer and authentic 1960s Florsheims, his trilby cocked just so.

The elegant look from another era makes a suave statement and exudes a certain authority — evoking equal parts image and lifestyle that a growing number of young men are hungry to adopt.

“I think it’s important to recognize that clothes don’t make the man,” said Mulvihill, who lives in East Kensington with his wife. “But a man of character and integrity who embodies traditional principles of etiquette will never be hurt by dressing well.”

Gentlemen, a “menaissance,” as one blogger describes it, is under way, and the classically clad “retrosexual” is leading the charge.

Think of him as the anti-metrosexual, the opposite of that guy who emerged in the 1990s in all his pedicured, moussed-up, skinny-jeans glory. That man-boy was searching for his inner girl, it was argued. The retrosexual, however, wants to put the man back into manhood.

In other words, the boy wants to grow up, trading adolescent behaviors — working in a coffee shop, hanging with girls instead of dating them, and worrying about his hair — for a man who can take care of business, according to Josh Weil, cofounder of Youth Trends in Ramsey, N.J., who has tweeted about the macho-man look.

“I’m a strong guy, I’m very comfortable with who I am, I’m carrying around a little attitude,” he said, describing the philosophy.

Say goodbye to the sensitive guy who cries at the drop of a pink tee, or the slacker living with his mother, playing video games. This new man has ambition and aplomb, brawn and brains.

Think Cary Grant, Teddy Roosevelt, or Ernest Hemingway.

“For thousands of years, being a man meant being honorable, having courage, having competence,” said Brett McKay, 27, a law school graduate turned blogger who writes “The Art of Manliness” from Tulsa, Okla. “Till the 1950s, manliness meant action and a force for good.”

Then, feminism disturbed that order. “We created this new world where men and women were equal,” McKay said. “A lot of men were confused. What was my role now?”

The result was that some men thought “feminism . . . made them wusses,” said Katherine Anderson, a doctoral student in cultural studies at George Mason University who has written about shifting male gender roles.

The manly-man creed is a way to regain man’s position in society. “Retrosexual is all about ‘I am Man. Hear me roar!’ ” Anderson said.

It’s sensitive territory, certainly.

The movement’s love affair with a time that was not always kind to women or minorities, and that rigidly defined men — as the hard-drinking, womanizing Mad Men character Don Draper, for all his dapperness, showcases — has some social observers concerned.

“It’s nostalgia for a past that never was,” said Gordon Coonfield, director of media studies at Villanova University who teaches about gender and media culture. “It’s a convenient oversimplification of a past with which, arguably, we were probably well done.”

McKay and other retrosexual adherents, however, are quick to insist that they have no desire to reset the clocks to a time when women were largely excluded from the workforce and expected to stay home with the babies.

Instead, they want to hold doors open and pay for dates without worries of chauvinism, even as they split the kitchen duties.

“It’s a man who looks to the past for inspiration about what it means to be a man, taking the best from that time and leaving the cultural garbage, like sexism, racism, and homophobia, behind,” said McKay, who, with his wife, Kate, wrote the 2009 book The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man.

His wife agreed. “I’m tired of babying these man-boys,” she said. “I want a man who has it together.”

Nancy Powell, 24, wife of the Drexel student, echoed the sentiment in favor of values from an earlier time. “I appreciate it as a countermovement to the Abercrombie frat-boy trend,” said the paralegal, who is attending Temple University. “I feel proud to walk down the street on my husband’s arm.”

As evidence of the retrosexual’s arrival, Brett McKay points to the resurgence among his peers of smoking tobacco pipes, shaving with a brush and razor, and joining fraternal societies such as the Freemasons.

“I’ve learned how to change the oil in my car, how to rotate the tires . . . how to shoot a gun,” McKay said. “This is a manly thing to do.”

At Groom in Center City, younger men have ditched the unisex salons for a classic haircut or straight-razor shave in this barbershop that evokes the 1920s. Soft notes of jazz play as background to the short, textured cuts owner and barber Joe McMenamin offers for a reasonable $25 within the white and slate-gray walls of the shop.

“Joe’s a barber. He gives a real haircut,” said banker Chad Thompson, 35, of Center City, as McMenamin trimmed his hair and straight-razored the back of his neck. A salon’s “a little too prissy for me.”

Even though the retrosexual philosophy shuns excessive consumption (a metrosexual hallmark) as weak and soft, a man still has plenty of products to choose from — now with the promise to make him more manly.

Old Spice — this is your grandfather’s scent — has hopped the man train with its “Smell Like a Man, Man” campaign.

“Don’t smell like sunsets and baby powder,” urges one ad for, ironically, body wash. “Smell like jet fighters and punching.”

During the Super Bowl, Dodge tapped modern man’s plight for its “Man’s Last Stand” commercial. Blank-faced, beaten-down guys lament their emasculated state: “I will shave. I will clean the sink after I shave. . . . I will put the seat down. . . . I will carry your lip balm.” But a man, the ad concludes, still gets to pick his ride, in this case a Dodge Charger that zooms off into the hills.

” ‘Man’s Last Stand’ is a reflection of contemporary social frustrations, be it at home or at the office,” said Saad Chehab, head of group advertising for Chrysler Group. It defines masculinity as a “sense of power and resurgence of confidence.”

Of course, real men eat beef, probably at one of those big steak houses popping up on every corner; do the dirty jobs (or at least watch Mike Rowe’s Dirty Jobs); and wear the pants, as Dockers’ new tagline reminds.

“It celebrates men who can change a tire and a diaper,” said Jennifer Sey, vice president of global marketing at Dockers in San Francisco.

Sey, a Philadelphia native, said her own life reflects the varied functions of the genders. “I work, and my husband stays home with our kids,” she said. This modern dynamic “does impact men’s roles.”

Many are left asking, “What is a man, if the woman can do all the same things that a man can do?” said Justin Sitron, a clinical assistant professor of education and human sexuality at Widener University. “Masculinity has been in a period of exploration in the last 20 to 25 years.”

The 1950s man who never showed his emotions was one option, he said. Then the pendulum swung in the other direction and the metrosexual evolved, he said. Neither is ideal.

“Just as we need masculine, rugged men,” Sitron said, “we need men who are caretakers and providers in other ways, and everything in between.”

Some think the retrosexual fulfills all those roles — with confidence.