by Neil Kennedy
Update: Last year on Valentines I wrote, “7 Meaningful Touches Every Husband Should Use to Reach for His Wife.” It has been overwhelmingly received, read hundreds of thousands of times, shared by tens of thousands, and re-posted on numerous blogs and magazines. It obviously struck a cord with many people.
I couldn’t help but reflect on that article after my latest conversation with my father. It is one of the saddest conversations that I can remember having. I called to check in on him and his wife. They had recently transitioned to an assisted living facility. His hello was barely distinguishable.
“Dad, what’s going on?” I asked.
“My wife had to move to her daughter’s house in North Carolina. They left this morning,” he answered. I could hear the anguish in his voice, the deep, confidence had succumbed to his grief.
As it has been described, my father’s wife of 46 years has ebbed into the “long goodbye.”
I immediately cancelled my prior plans so I could go see him. His sadness is not something that he should manage alone. I couldn’t help but reflect on the article that I wrote last year on Valentines and reflect upon the memory of my father and his beloved wife sitting on their loveseat, holding hands. I am saddened to know that she is no longer within reach for him. Their hands have been separated, and the long goodbye is by a thousand miles.
My encouragement to my father is to reflect upon the love that they’ve shared in their lives. Remembering each embrace of that love.
I hope this article will cause you to reach out to your wife again. Hold her hand. Caress her cheeks. Kiss her forehead and whisper in her ears, “I love you.”
The Original Article:
I recently called to check on my father who wasn’t feeling well. After talking for a few minutes, I asked about his wife (not my mother). They’ve enjoyed a wonderful relationship for 45 years of marriage. He said, “She is doing well, sitting here holding my hand.”
I must admit, I thought of that as a Hallmark moment — a seasoned couple sitting in their cabin on a mountain in Arkansas still in love and holding hands.
The human touch has amazingly powerful benefits to both parties — physically, emotionally, physiologically, and even spiritually. Studies have revealed innumerable benefits. Unfortunately some men have allowed their hands to withdraw from reaching for their wives.
Here are 7 Meaningful Touches Every Husband Should Use To Reach For His Wife
1. Reach for your wife first thing in the morning. It may be a gentle pat as you’re getting out of bed or a hug when you first see each other, but reach for her before you get busy about the day.
2. Throughout the day a text or quick phone call is a great touch of affection that will go a long way in letting her know she is on your mind. A simple, “I love you.” or, “Just thinking about you and looking forward to the evening.”
3. Write a note the old fashioned way. We’re so tech-savvy these days that sometimes an old fashioned approach is more meaningful.
4. Whether your wife loves flowers, chocolate, or shoes, sending these on “regular” days rather than typical celebration days will be a huge touch.
5. Save some energy so you can give your wife special attention when you return home. Embrace her warmly and greet her when you first enter the home.
6. Hold her hand at random times — driving, walking, or just sitting at home.
7. Give her a back rub.
I want to add one more to the list that is a real standout and will take your relationship to another dimension.
8. Lay your hand upon her and speak a blessing over her and her dreams while praying in agreement with her. This may take you out of your comfort zone, but I promise you this will be a game changer in your spiritual walk and leadership with your wife and family.
Reach out and touch your wife. The benefits are immeasurable.