Build a Hedge Around Your Marriage

Build a Hedge Around Your Marriage
February 3, 2010 Neil Kennedy

Marriage has a Nemesis—an enemy—a scheming and divisive force that wants to destroy your relationship with your wife. Everything good from God is contested by Satan. He can’t stand the thought of agreement, truth, and harmony; therefore, he will do anything that he can to breakup your marriage.

Satan also knows that “where two agree on earth touching anything, the Spirit of God is in the midst.” He wants to be the third-party in the relationship. He wants to intertwine his schemes into your relationship – jealousy, envy, manipulation, greed, pride, harsh words, anger, and sexual sins.

The destruction of every marriage can be traced to a destructive third voice. Here are the keys to building a hedge of protection around your marriage:

Create and protect the atmosphere of your home.

Don’t allow strife to enter in to your home. Where there is strife there is every evil work. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE DESTRUCTIVE POWER OF STRIFE. Music creates an atmosphere. Television brings complete strangers and strange ideas into your home. Feasting on murder and adultery is not the kind of entertainment that you should have in your home. You would never invite your neighbors to come into your home and share their intimate details or have sexual relations in front of you.

Attend a church that supports proper relationships.

A church that promotes the ideas of authentic manhood, honors and respects women, and provides safe and nurturing programs to help raise your children in the instruction of God’s Word. Has the fruit of your pastors teaching produced a healthy family in his home?

Does the leadership model a strong family life? The Bible qualifies ministerial leadership. If a man cannot be faithful to his own marriage what makes you think that he will honor your marriage?

Regularly pray and discuss God’s Word with your wife.

Have communion with your wife, especially over your Tithes and Offerings, worship together. Make room for the gifts of the Spirit to work in your home. The Third voice in marriage should be the Spirit of God. He should always have the invitation to counsel and remind you of your vows.

Keep your relations in confidence.

Don’t discuss private issues with anyone outside of your relationship. It is inappropriate to reveal intimacies. No locker room talk. We’re not in junior high. Keep your marriage bed holy.

Be grateful for her.

Express your gratitude for the woman and mother that your wife is. She is an individual who has willingly connected to your dreams and goals in life. Studies overwhelming reveal that when a husband helps his wife around the house that they have more intimacy. Guys, its worth the effort.

Speak words of affirmation to her.

She MUST hear from you. Faith comes from hearing. Speak words that build her up, strengthen and encourage her. Speak kind and comforting words. Your words sanctify her. Learn how to communicate to your wife. Learn what she needs to hear from you. In times of trouble, don’t reveal your fears and insecurities! You must show yourself as a man. She will draw strength from you.

Continue to court her.

Date your wife as if you were in the continual pursuit of her. Open the door for her. Stand up, embrace, and greet her when she enters into your world such as the office. She should be the last woman that you “look” at.


  1. Derek 13 years ago

    Wow! Neil you hit the nail on the head. I hope this brings dis-comfort to all of us who have gotten comfortable with society “slipping” into our marriage. Thanks! D

  2. Bill 13 years ago

    Neil, Thank you for your article. After reading it I had to post the following to my facebook page with this link. Thank you-
    In going through my Bible reading this morning, I ran across a website that I think most of us Fathers need to look into and heed. As we strive to bring our country back to God and our founding father’s principles, we can find ourselves getting so involved with other things that our family life and our marriages can suffer. We must have a balanced approach. God first, family second, then mankind. Without the firm foundation of the personal relationship with Christ our Lord and Savior, we can’t provide the needed guidance and strength for the family. And as we have seen the family structure disintegrate over the past 50 or so years, we have witnessed the falling away from God of our culture and nation. So, the first step has to be a personal revival among men and women in order to bring the hearts of our children and our nation.
    I want to share a promise that I am claiming from the minister’s sermon last Sunday,
    Habakkuk 1:5 “Look at the nations and watch— and be utterly amazed.
    For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe,
    even if you were told.

  3. Neil 13 years ago

    Thanks, Bill. I hope that you will join the FSM fan page on Facebook. Thanks for your comments. We are working hard to resurrect authentic manhood. Thank you for your voice.

  4. tim simmons 13 years ago

    Great insight for men and marriage! We used the blog as the curriculum for our FivestarMan Engage Huddle and the response was amazing,

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