Clean House

Clean House
January 8, 2015 Neil Kennedy

Clean House

Early in marriage I did something spontaneous that proved to be one of the best things that I could do to show my wife that I loved her — I helped her clean the house.

I’m not alone. The American Time Use Survey suggests that men do 35 percent of total household tasks. Housework has become a shared project for husbands and wives, albeit not equally. Thankfully, the housework workload has been reduced by 23 percent over the last few decades thanks to Whirlpool, Hoover, Swiffer, et cetera. But even better, when two people work together the cleaning time is cut by two-thirds, rather than just half.

Here are five benefits to cleaning the house:

1. It demonstrates my willingness to be a servant-leader.
How can my wife have confidence that I would lay down my life for her if I can’t pick up my clothes?

2. It reinforces the concept of team.
How can two people walk together unless they agree?

3. Cleaning house releases creativity.
There is something about cleaning and creating order in your home that releases creativity in your work. When God found chaos and confusion, He said, “Let there be light.” He exposed the chaos and put things in order.

4. Cleaning house shows gratitude and humility.
When your hand has blue gloves on and you’re gripping a toilet brush, it shows humility. That brush is the equivalent of a sword that cuts through pride. It’s a good thing.

5. Cleaning house makes you attractive.
Studies have shown that a man helping with household chores is the number one turn-on for a wife. Who knew? You become more attractive when you’re pushing a vacuum cleaner.

Clean your closet. What you do in secret is what moves you in public. Click To Tweet

Action Step:

Help your wife clean the house.


  1. Amy 8 years ago

    How about “because I live here and part of this mess is mine.”

  2. really now 8 years ago

    My reasons you should help clean the house:

    #1-5. You live there

  3. JP 8 years ago

    How about “because you live there”.

  4. Jennifer Harris 5 years ago

    I agree with the other comments here:


    You’re supposed to clean up. She’s not your maid. You don’t have the right to use housework as a down payment for sex, either.

    • Author
      Neil Kennedy 5 years ago

      Interesting. I write an article to help motivate men to be true partners with their wives. I shared that my motivation to clean the house was a demonstration that I love her. But your response is to speak down to men and snippily attack it rather than acknowledging that we are encouraging men to serve in the household. My wife has never been treated like a maid by me or by our children. Nor do I have to make payments for intimacy. Thanks for reading.

      • Shadyjeff 5 years ago

        wow, f***boy much? how the hell did a person like you get married?

        • Author
          Neil Kennedy 5 years ago

          I normally don’t answer the fool, but in your case I will. Do you realize how stupid your comment is? No, you don’t because anyone who would write a personal attack like this is frankly, a simpleton. You need real help. Seriously, real help. I recommend that you start by repenting of your sins… and your stupidity.

  5. Jonathan 5 years ago

    what happened to wives being workers at home and mean’t to support their husband…

    a wife who expects her husband to clean everything and does nothing during the day is not really supporting her husband who works all day….

    this sounds like more feminist gender neutral teaching- trying to eliminate any difference between male and female than anything Godly

    It used to be normal for men to expect their wives to maintain the home, now men have to do it to prove their servant heart.

    I thought men showed servant leadership by working hard and providing for the wife and women gladly responded by helping him, not being lazy…

  6. Author
    Neil Kennedy 5 years ago

    The last thing that you could accuse me of is propagating a ‘feminist gender neutral’ teaching. Look. Many women work outside the home. Some women don’t. However, the notion that I am going to expect my wife to clean up the entire home without my efforts is a foreign concept to me.

  7. ChristianLady 5 years ago

    Mr. Kennedy, this is an excellent primer for men unused to the idea of performing their share of household duties. I am all for any article that at least gets the ball rolling in men participating in household duties. I feel a house wife should get the weekend break as her breadwinning husband does where perhaps the division of chores can be more equitable. The non working spouse or the one who brings in less should take on a larger portion of duties than the other.
    I have both been the breadwinner for my family and been a full time working wife along with my husband. I have been in both the place of expecting the other person to take care of it all and being the one to take care of it all and I can say this is not the solution. It breeds contempt. I think what other women commenters take issue with, is the difference in mindset between themselves and your article. From their perspective, they see themselves as an adult living with another adult who both have an equal stake in the care and maintenance of their residence. This includes an equal division of indoor/ outdoor maintenance. When you make statements about “helping” your wife out, it comes off as a slap in the face of the previously stated premise. Like I said, this is a great start to giving motivational reasons from a man to do his part. It benefits him more than he realizes, but additionally women would like to see a slight change in mindset more towards the idea of your second bullet point, a team. Unfortunately many times the premise that all domestic duties are on the woman, “just let me know when you need me to help” creates a power structure in a marriage doomed to failure. The woman begins to feel like the maid/mothering nag. I would rather feel like the sexy helpmeet who has a partner who has eyes to see and can look around and say, “oh right, gotta throw that wrapper away, that laundry pile is getting high, gotta get that in the wash.” Like I said I applaud your article as a great start at planting that seed of change. But please understand the place that women commenters are coming from when they feel frustrated with the implication that “helping” your wife brings to the table. It isn’t a personal attack on you, but rather a feeling of being fed up with the consequences of this mindset in the first place. You were just the unfortunate person caught in the crossfire. Again I applaud your article, you did a great thing here, the intentions were awesome and we can get on board with anyone trying to change the division in household labor. It’s simply that the issue is a little more complex and deep seated and this is the place these other commenters are coming from. Glad to be sitting in the can of worms with ya! We’ll get there folks!

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