How to Become a Man Without Having a Father

Young man, I get it—growing up without a father leaves a void. I lived it myself, raised in a home where my mother’s husband wasn’t a mentor, just a housemate. Yet, here I stand, four decades married, leading FivestarMan, a movement for authentic manhood. Of course, we want a dad, but you can still become a man; you will need purpose, faith, and grit. The Bible says, “The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, a man of understanding draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5). Here are five ways to tap into that reservoir and rise as a man—adventurous, entrepreneurial, gallant, faithful, and philanthropic—without a father’s guidance.

1. How to Become a Man Without a Father: Embrace Adventure

God put a wild spirit in you, a call to the field—think David slinging stones in the pasture (1 Samuel 17:34-37). Don’t hide in your room with video games; get out and get dirty. Wrestle, hike, fish—test your limits. I found my edge at 12, grappling with life’s challenges like Jacob wrestled God (Genesis 32:24). Losses sting, but they sharpen you. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). Step into the contest; it is where manhood begins. Don’t allow insecurity to keep you from playing sports. Try different ones and see if they fit. I highly recommend learning self-defense — wrestling, Krav Maga, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, or Taekwondo.

2. How to Become a Man Without a Father: Pursue Increase

You’re made in God’s image, designed to be fruitful (Genesis 1:28). Don’t settle for handouts—chase your calling. Abraham left home with nothing but faith and built wealth through land and livestock (Genesis 13:2). Start small: mow lawns, read about money, and save a buck. Jesus praised the servant who doubled his talents, not the one who buried them (Matthew 25:14-30). Your hustle isn’t just for you—it’s to fund your purpose. Dig into that entrepreneurial fire. Learn to invest early.

3. How to Become a Man Without a Father: Stand Gallant

A real man honors women—mothers, sisters, peers—with dignity. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25) starts with how you treat girls now. Open doors, speak kindly, guard your eyes from lust (Proverbs 7:13). I learned this without a dad’s example, driven by a desire to be the man my mom deserved. Purity is challenging in this world, but Solomon’s wisdom (Proverbs 7) can guide you. Be the hero, not the coward.

4. How to Become a Man Without a Father: Forge Faithful Character

Integrity trumps talent. “The man of integrity walks securely” (Proverbs 10:9). At 12, I heard God whisper my future, a voice clearer than any father’s. Walk with Him daily—Adam did in Eden (Genesis 3:8), Noah did amid chaos (Genesis 6:9). Read Proverbs daily; its 31 chapters built my backbone. Keep your word, own your mistakes, and forgive fast (Matthew 6:12). Your Heavenly Father’s approval fills the gap no man can. Lean into that. By the way, sign up for TheDailyChampion.com — it will be an encouraging word for you each day of the year.

5. How to Become a Man Without a Father: Fight for a Cause

You’re wired for significance, not just survival. “God has set eternity in the hearts of men” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Find a need—help a kid, fix a widow’s porch—and meet it. Peter and John, ordinary guys, shook the world because they’d been with Jesus (Acts 4:13). My cause came clear after a dying man’s regret: “Live while you’re living.” Don’t coast; fight for something bigger. Your legacy isn’t in what you get but in what you give. Don’t strive for success; be driven for significance.

Conclusion

I’ve been where you are—fatherless, searching. But God stepped in, wrestling with me in isolation, speaking purpose into my soul. Psalm 68:5 declares, “A father to the fatherless…is God.” You’ve got a Father who never leaves, guiding you to draw out the man within. Step up, young man. Adventure, increase, honor, character, and cause are yours to claim. Don’t allow victimhood to become your identity. Claim a victory to become a man.

Action Step

To accompany the book FivestarMan, we’ve created the 45-Day Challenge, which is specifically designed to help you understand the purposes of Proverbs 20:5. Take the Challenge, and you will gain an understanding of God’s original intent for your life.