Stoke the Fire: 5 Biblical Keys to Never Stop Dating Your Wife
Picture this: you’re out in the wilderness, the night is dark, and you’ve got a campfire going. At first, it’s blazing—warm, vibrant, lighting up the faces around it. But if you stop adding wood, stop tending it, that fire dwindles to embers, barely enough to keep you warm. Your marriage is like that campfire. When you first said “I do,” it burned bright with passion and promise. Now, life’s demands—work, kids, routines—can let it fade if you’re not careful. Ephesians 5:25 calls you to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” That’s not a one-time spark; it’s a fire you keep stoking. Dating your wife keeps the flames alive, and the Bible shows you how. Here are five practical, scriptural keys to never stop pursuing her.
Key 1: Keep the Passion Burning with Intentional Pursuit
Song of Solomon 1:2 sings, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine.” God designed marriage to pulse with passion. Dating your wife—whether it’s a candlelit dinner at home or a sunset walk—adds fuel to that fire. Make it practical: plan one evening a week, no distractions, just you and her. Talk, laugh, rediscover what made you fall in love. Don’t let the fire of romance die out; stoke it with deliberate, joyful pursuit.
Key 2: Build Unity by Staying Connected
Genesis 2:24 says, “A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Unity doesn’t just happen; it’s built through shared moments. Dating keeps you emotionally tethered, beyond the daily grind. Ask her about her dreams, her fears, not just the grocery list. Try this: grab coffee at a new spot and share one hope for your future together. Proverbs 5:18 urges, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth.” Keep the connection tight, and your marriage will glow like a well-tended flame.
Key 3: Lead by Example with Christlike Love
You’re not just a husband; you’re a leader. Ephesians 5:25-28 paints a picture of Christ’s sacrificial love for the church—relentless, active, devoted. Dating your wife shows your kids (or future kids) what love looks like: not a fading ember, but a steady blaze. Practically, let them catch you planning a date or holding her hand. It teaches sons to cherish women and daughters to expect honor. Your marriage sets the tone for their future. Lead with love that burns bright.
Key 4: Guard Your Heart Against the Cold
The enemy loves a neglected fire. Proverbs 4:23 warns, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Dating your wife keeps her at the center of your heart, shielding your marriage from temptation and apathy. Make it real: surprise her with a recreated first date or a weekend getaway. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 reminds you to meet each other’s needs—emotional and physical. A marriage left untended grows cold; keep stoking the fire to protect your covenant.
Key 5: Honor God’s Covenant for Lasting Warmth
Marriage is a sacred covenant, reflecting God’s faithful love (Malachi 2:14). Dating your wife says, “I’m committed, every day.” It turns routine into adventure, challenges into shared strength. Psalm 16:11 promises, “You will fill me with joy in your presence.” In marriage, that joy comes from pursuing her as God pursues you. Try this: keep a journal of your dates—what made her smile, what deepened your bond. Over time, you’ll see a marriage that radiates God’s glory.
My friend, your wife is God’s gift, a fire worth tending. Don’t let life’s winds snuff it out. Dating her isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about consistent effort that keeps the warmth alive. Ready to stoke the fire? Take the 45-Day Challenge at FivestarMan.com. Commit to dating your wife intentionally for 45 days—small steps, big flames. Sign up now and watch God fan your marriage into a blaze that lasts.
