Respect Yourself by Your Conduct; Respect Others with Good Manners

In our fast-paced, casual era, the boundaries of decorum have blurred. What began as “Casual Friday” in workplaces has expanded into everyday life—relaxed dress, informal speech, and diminished attention to etiquette. Yet Scripture calls us to a higher standard. The Apostle Paul reminds us, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). Even the simplest acts, like sharing a meal, reflect our character and faith. A man who aspires to authentic masculinity—what we call a FivestarMan—embraces gallantry. He conducts himself with excellence, honoring God by respecting himself through disciplined conduct and respecting others through thoughtful manners.

The Bible repeatedly ties self-respect to self-control, a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Proverbs warns, “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control” (Proverbs 25:28). Ungoverned impulses leave us vulnerable; disciplined habits fortify us. At the table, this discipline shines brightly. Good manners declare dignity—both our own and others’. As Peter instructs, “Honor everyone” (1 Peter 2:17), and Paul adds, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10). The table becomes a sacred space where gallant men practice these truths.

Consider the wisdom of Proverbs 23:1-3: “When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony. Do not crave his delicacies, for that food is deceptive.” Solomon urges restraint in influential settings. A gallant man prepares himself deliberately, reflecting biblical care for body and soul.

First, he washes his hands before coming to the table. This simple act echoes biblical emphasis on cleanliness and readiness. Though Jesus challenged empty ritual washing (Mark 7:1-8), preparation honors the occasion. Clean hands symbolize a heart ready to fellowship, as David asks, “Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? … The one who has clean hands and a pure heart” (Psalm 24:3-4).

Second, he is properly groomed and dressed appropriately. Scripture calls us to present ourselves as God’s ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5:20). Whatever we do, we do “as working for the Lord” (Colossians 3:23). Neat appearance respects the host, guests, and occasion itself.

Third, he sits with dignity—never tilting his chair. Good posture reflects self-mastery and respect for the setting. Slouching or careless habits disrupt; upright bearing honors shared space.

Fourth, he does not overload his plate but bridle his appetite. Here, Proverbs’ warning against gluttony rings clear: “Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor” (Proverbs 23:20-21). Moderation glorifies God, who provides abundantly yet calls us to self-control. A gallant man eats with gratitude, not greed.

Fifth, he eats slowly and chews with his mouth closed. Haste signals disregard; deliberate pace shows mindfulness. This small discipline respects others’ comfort and echoes biblical calls to avoid crude behavior.

Sixth, he treats servers with utmost dignity—thanking them cordially. Jesus modeled this by washing His disciples’ feet: “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet” (John 13:14). No one is beneath notice. A gallant man sees every person as God’s image-bearer, offering kindness that points to Christ.

Seventh, he keeps conversation respectful—moderate in tone and volume, never dominating. Scripture urges, “To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people” (Titus 3:2). The table fosters edifying fellowship, not self-promotion. As in Luke 14, Jesus taught humility: take the lowest place, let the host exalt you.

Eighth, he never answers his phone or allows distractions at the table. In emergencies, he excuses himself quietly. This honors presence—being fully with others. Our age of constant connection tempts division; a gallant man chooses undivided attention, reflecting love for neighbor (Mark 12:31).

Ninth, he does not reach across the table. He asks politely for what he needs. This respects boundaries and others’ space, embodying the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12).

Tenth, he maintains good posture without slouching. Upright bearing conveys alertness and respect for himself, companions, and the meal’s sanctity.

Eleventh and twelfth, he avoids grooming at the table—never cleaning fingernails with a fork or using a toothpick. Such acts distract and diminish dignity. True gallantry keeps personal matters private.

These principles form the table manners of a gallant man:

1. He washes his hands before coming to the table.
2. He is properly groomed and dressed appropriately for the occasion.
3. He never tilts his chair at the table.
4. He does not overload his plate. He bridles his appetite.
5. He eats slowly, chews with his mouth closed.
6. He always treats those who serve him with dignity and respect, cordially saying, “Thank you.”
7. He keeps his conversational tone and volume at a respectable level. He does not dominate the conversation.
8. He never answers his phone or is distracted by his phone at the table. If he must, he excuses himself, steps outside, and takes the call—only in emergencies.
9. He does not reach across the table.
10. He is seated with good posture and does not slouch at the table.
11. He does not clean his fingernails with the fork.
12. He does not use a toothpick at the table.

If your profession involves dining with influential people, invest in an etiquette coach. Such guidance sharpens skills that open doors and honor God.

Gallantry is far more than rules at a table—it is a way of life that reflects the character of Christ. In a world that celebrates casual indifference, the gallant man stands apart, drawing others toward the One who dined with sinners yet lived with perfect dignity and honor.

Action Step

Take the 45-Day Challenge at FivestarMan.com today. This structured journey will guide you step-by-step to embrace authentic manhood, deepen your faith, and live out gallantry in every arena of life. Commit to the challenge, and watch God transform ordinary habits into extraordinary testimony.