Five Keys to Save Your Marriage

Gentlemen, marriage is under attack. Divorce rates soar, families fracture, and men often feel powerless to stop the slide. But God has given us a blueprint for victory in Ephesians 5:23-31, where Paul writes: “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.” 

Before we grab hold of the keys, let me address what most women are offended by in this passage: “For the husband is the head…” Unfortunately, two mistakes are made. Firstly, Women conclude that this speaks of domineering leadership, which is not. It is speaking of servant leadership. Secondly, people fail to understand the protocol of authority. You see it plainly in Scripture: God is the Father; Jesus is submitted to the Father;  a Christian husband is submitted to Christ; a Christian wife is submitted to the husband.

Your marriage can thrive if you embrace these five biblical keys.

Key 1: To Save Your Marriage, Lead with Purpose

My late friend, Dr. Myles Munroe, said, “When the purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable.” No truer statement could be made regarding being a husband. Ephesians 5:23 declares you the head of your wife, not as a tyrant, but as Christ leads the church—with purpose and vision. A man without direction leaves his marriage adrift. Ask yourself: Where am I taking us? God wired you to lead, so cast a vision for your family rooted in faith, provision, and unity. Step up and steer the ship.

Your wife needs a leader, not a passenger.

Key 2: To Save Your Marriage, Love Sacrificially

Verse 25 doesn’t mince words: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Christ didn’t cling to comfort; He died for His bride. There is no good marriage without costing you something—time, pride, selfish habits. When was the last time you sacrificed your wants for her needs? Love isn’t a feeling; it’s a choice to give yourself up daily. That’s the standard God set.

Key 3: To Save Your Marriage, Speak Kind and Comforting Words

Paul says Christ gave Himself “to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word” (v. 26). Your home needs more than a paycheck—it needs God’s truth. Are you speaking life into your wife? Pray with her. Share Scripture. Lead devotionals, even if it’s messy at first. A man who washes his marriage in the Word builds a fortress against the enemy’s lies. Start small, but start now. You cannot speak down to your wife, expecting her to live up to your expectations.

Speak kind and comforting words to her. 

Key 4: To Save Your Marriage, Cherish Her as Yourself

Ephesians 5:28-29 hits hard: “Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies… No one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for it.” Your wife is a mirror. She reflects your image. Looking at her, you can evaluate what kind of a husband you are. If, after a season of marriage, you do not like what she looks like, it could be your fault, not hers. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. Jesus said, “If you have seen me, you have seen the Father.” This shows how the Word is the reflection of the Source. In the same manner, your wife will show what you have been speaking over and to her.

Do you criticize her more than you encourage her? You wouldn’t starve or neglect yourself—so don’t do it to her. Cherish her with your words, your time, your attention. She’s not your adversary; she’s your rib, your partner, your gift from God. Treat her that way.

Key 5: To Save Your Marriage, Stay in Agreement

Verse 31 seals it: “The two will become one flesh.” This is a mystery, but it’s your reality. You can’t be duplicitous and have stability in your marriage. How can two walk together unless you agree on the destination? I’ve never seen a marriage divided without the influence of a third voice speaking into it. Division is the devil’s playground—don’t let resentment, silence, or sin carve a wedge between you. Fight for oneness. Apologize when you’re wrong. Pursue her heart, even when it’s hard. God didn’t unite you to watch you drift apart. You’re one flesh—act like it.

Conclusion

Marriage isn’t a battlefield for the faint-hearted. It’s a proving ground for men who rise to God’s call. Ephesians 5 isn’t just poetry; it’s your playbook. The world may tell you to check out when it gets tough, but God says to step up. Your wife isn’t perfect—neither are you—but she’s yours to lead, love, and lift toward holiness.

I’ve seen marriages on the brink turn around when men grab hold of these keys. It’s not about her changing first; it’s about you taking responsibility. God entrusted her to you, and He’s given you the strength to succeed. The question is: Will you answer the call?

Take the 45-Day Challenge

Men, it’s time to stop coasting and start fighting for your marriage. I’m inviting you to the 45-Day Challenge at FivestarMan.com. For 45 days, commit to applying these five keys—lead with purpose, love sacrificially, cleanse with the Word, cherish her, and pursue oneness. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Your marriage isn’t just salvageable—it can become a testimony of God’s power. Go to FivestarMan.com today, sign up, and take the first step to becoming the husband God created you to be. Your wife is waiting. Your family is worth it. Let’s do this.