Husbandry: How to Be a Man in Marriage

Marriage is a divine masterpiece, a sacred covenant where a man and a woman are perfectly designed to complement and compliment one another. At FivestarMan, we believe God wired men with five passions—adventure, entrepreneurship, gallantry, faithfulness, and philanthropy—to reflect His image. In the context of marriage, these passions find their fullest expression in husbandry—the art of cultivating a thriving relationship that honors God and elevates both husband and wife. Scripture offers timeless wisdom for this journey, revealing how a FivestarMan can lead, love, and live as the husband God intended.

Designed to Complement and Compliment

From the beginning, God crafted marriage as a partnership of mutual strength. Genesis 2:18 declares, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” The Hebrew word for “helper,” ezer, is a powerful term, often used of God Himself as a source of strength and support (Psalm 121:2). Far from a subordinate role, a wife is a co-warrior, uniquely fashioned to stand alongside her husband. Together, they complement one another—his strengths balancing her gifts, her wisdom refining his vision.

But it’s not enough to complement; a FivestarMan also compliments. Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This isn’t a passive love—it’s an active celebration of her worth. Speak life into her. Celebrate her creativity, her resilience, her faith. A husband who masters husbandry doesn’t just coexist with his wife; he cultivates a garden where both can flourish.

Competition Kills, Cultivation Thrives

Too often, the world tempts husbands to bring competition into marriage—who earns more, who’s right, who’s stronger. But rivalry has no place in God’s design. Proverbs 31 paints a picture of a wife of noble character, a woman of valor whose husband trusts her implicitly (v. 11). He doesn’t compete with her entrepreneurial spirit or diminish her influence; he celebrates it, knowing “her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” (v. 28).

A FivestarMan rejects the scoreboard mentality. Instead, he tills the soil of his marriage with gallantry and faithfulness. Are you cultivating your wife’s gifts or quietly resenting them? Are you celebrating her successes or keeping a tally? The art of husbandry is about building a legacy together—two unique callings woven into one eternal purpose.

Strength Honors Strength

A strong man is never intimidated by a strong woman. The Bible is filled with examples of powerful women partnered with godly men. Deborah, a prophetess and judge, led Israel with wisdom and courage (Judges 4:4-5), while her military commander Barak fought alongside her. Her strength didn’t diminish him—it amplified their victory. A FivestarMan knows that his wife’s boldness, intelligence, or ambition isn’t a threat; it’s a gift to be championed.

Insecurity breeds control, but authentic manhood thrives on confidence. When you’re secure in your identity as a son of God, you don’t need to shrink others to feel tall. A weak woman doesn’t make your manhood stronger—it’s the strength of your wife that sharpens you, as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). I realize that few would use this Proverb to describe what a wife can be for her husband, but it is true. A strong woman sharpens the metal of a strong man. Celebrate her fire, and let it refine your own.

Domination Is Not Leadership

The world often confuses leadership with domination, but Scripture draws a clear line. Jesus redefined greatness, saying, “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant” (Matthew 20:26). God gave man dominion over the earth, not domination over others. The same is true in marriage. You are not given biblical permission to exercise domination over your spouse.

In marriage, biblical leadership isn’t about barking orders or flexing power—it’s about sacrificial love. Peter instructs husbands to “live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7). This isn’t a call to dominate but to protect, to understand, to elevate.

A FivestarMan leads with an adventurous spirit tempered by humility. Domination crushes; leadership cultivates. Your wife isn’t your subject—she’s your partner in God’s mission. When you lead as Christ leads the church, you create a marriage that radiates strength and grace.

Submission, Not Subjugation

Perhaps no verse is more misunderstood than Ephesians 5:22: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Submission is a beautiful, voluntary act of trust, not a forced subjugation. The Greek word hupotasso means to align under, not to be crushed beneath. It’s a wife choosing to support her husband’s leadership, just as he chooses to lay down his life for her. The very next verse commands mutual submission—“submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (v. 21)—a dance of honor, not a simple chain of command.

Subjugation, on the other hand, is a distortion of God’s plan. It’s the heavy hand of control, the opposite of husbandry. A FivestarMan doesn’t demand submission; he earns it through faithfulness and gallantry. When you love like Christ, your wife’s trust grows naturally, and she becomes your greatest ally, not your servant.

The Greek word hupotasso means to align under, not to be crushed beneath.

The Fruit of Husbandry

The art of husbandry yields a harvest—peace in your home, strength in your legacy, and glory to God. Proverbs 18:22 promises, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”  Your wife is the physical evidence that God has favored you.

A FivestarMan doesn’t just find a wife; he invests in her, building a marriage that reflects God’s covenant love. Your entrepreneurial drive shapes a family vision. Your adventurous spirit tackles challenges together. Your gallant heart defends her honor. Your faithful character anchors her trust. And your philanthropic passion spills over into a life of impact beyond your walls.

Consider the ultimate Husband, Jesus, who tends His bride, the Church, with unwavering devotion. He doesn’t compete, dominate, or subjugate—He loves, lifts, and redeems. As a FivestarMan, your call is to mirror that love, forging a marriage that stands as a testament to God’s design.

Your wife is the physical evidence that God has favored you. 

Action Step: Take the 45-Day Challenge

Ready to master the art of husbandry? At FivestarMan.com, we’ve created the 45-Day Challenge to ignite your five passions and transform your marriage. Here’s how to start:

1. Sign Up Today – Visit FivestarMan.com and join the 45-Day Challenge for free.
2. Get the FivestarMan book and daily coaching to guide you.
3. Commit to Growth – For 45 days, pursue adventure, entrepreneurship, gallantry, faithfulness, and philanthropy in your marriage.
4. Build with Brothers – Connect with our community of men, Circle of Champions, committed to authentic manhood.

Don’t settle for a mediocre marriage. Take the 45-Day Challenge at FivestarMan.com and step into the husbandry God designed you for—a FivestarMan leading with love, strength, and purpose.