8 Ways to Make Your Wife Disrespect You
As Christian men, we’re called to be husbands who reflect Christ’s love for His Church (Ephesians 5:25). Husbandry isn’t just a role—it’s a sacred stewardship of leadership, love, and responsibility. Yet, many men unintentionally sow seeds of disrespect in their wives’ hearts through habits that undermine their God-given calling. Drawing from biblical wisdom, here are eight ways you might be fostering disrespect in your marriage—and how to cultivate honor, trust, and strength instead.
1. Always Asking for Permission
When you constantly seek your wife’s approval for every decision, you position her as your mother, not your partner. Genesis 2:24 calls a man to “leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife,” implying independence and leadership. Seeking permission for trivial matters signals insecurity, eroding her confidence in you. Instead, consult her as a valued partner, make decisions with conviction, and lead with assurance. Show her you’re a man she can trust.
2. Oversharing Your Fears and Anxieties
Burdening your wife with every worry or doubt can overwhelm her and diminish her respect for you. As men, we’re called to draw strength from God, like David did in Psalm 18:2, and then strengthen those around us. Share your heart wisely, but don’t unload your anxieties on her. Turn to God in prayer, find your footing, and offer her stability. She needs your strength, not your fears.
3. Failing to Be Decisive
Indecision breeds instability. James 1:8 warns that a “double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” If you waver in your decisions, your wife can’t confidently follow your lead. Decisiveness doesn’t mean being domineering—it means prayerfully seeking God’s wisdom and acting with clarity. Step into your role as a leader who provides direction, and she’ll respect your resolve.
4. Nagging Instead of Leading
Nagging is a sign of insecurity, not strength. When you nag, you place your wife in a masculine role, forcing her to respond with authority to compensate for your passivity. Proverbs 31:3 reminds men to guard their strength. Lead with clear communication and action, not complaints. If you want her to respect you, stop nagging and start modeling the masculine strength God designed.
5. Neglecting to Work with Your Hands
A man who avoids the upkeep of his home signals irresponsibility. God created Adam to work and steward the garden (Genesis 2:15), and as husbands, we’re called to take responsibility for our domain. Whether it’s fixing a leaky faucet or maintaining the yard, your hands-on effort shows your wife you’re invested in your shared life. Don’t always outsource your duty—step up and own it. By demonstrating stewardship and leadership in taking care of the house, she will step up to make it your home.
6. Avoiding Conflict Like a Child
Pouting or withdrawing during conflict makes you look immature, not masculine. Ephesians 4:26 urges us to “not let the sun go down on your anger.” Avoiding tough conversations or sulking when challenged undermines your leadership. Face conflict with humility and courage. Be the man who listens, speaks truth in love, and resolves issues, not the boy who hides.
7. Over-Consuming and Chasing Stuff
Building your identity on possessions—whether it’s gadgets, cars, or status—shifts your focus from God’s purpose to fleeting things. Matthew 6:19-21 warns against storing treasures on earth. When you over-consume, your wife sees a man driven by insecurity, not purpose. Live with contentment, prioritize eternal values, and show her your worth comes from God, not your stuff.
8. Not Letting Her Be Feminine
If you dominate every decision or task, you leave no room for your wife to express her God-given femininity. 1 Peter 3:7 calls husbands to honor their wives as the “weaker vessel,” not in weakness of character but in the beauty of vulnerability and grace. Let her be soft, nurturing, and feminine without feeling she must act masculine to get things done. Create space for her to shine as the woman God made her to be.
A Call to Biblical Husbandry
God designed marriage to be a partnership where respect and love flow freely. As husbands, we set the tone. By avoiding these pitfalls, we can cultivate a marriage where our wives feel honored, secure, and cherished. It starts with us—leaning into God’s strength, leading with wisdom, and loving sacrificially. Will you rise to the challenge?
Action Step: Take the 45-Day Challenge at FivestarMan.com
Commit to becoming the husband God called you to be. Join the 45-Day Challenge at FivestarMan.com to grow in purposeful, passionate, and authentic manhood. Start today, and lead your marriage with strength and faith.
